Sunday, May 13, 2012

Dear Mom.

Throughout my life I have had many 'mothers'. From my Grandmother's, my Nenna, my step-mother, my mother in law, my Aunts, my friends mom's, to certain teachers; so many women have helped shape me into the woman I am today. I am so grateful for each of them in my life. But the one woman who I look up to more than anyone in this world is my mother.

April 28th, 2012 at my brothers wedding reception.

I truly don't think you can understand how much your mother loves you until you have children of your own. I had heard that same thing over and over throughout my life and it didn't mean alot to me.

Until I became a mommy. How true it is. The amount of love I instantly had for my kids made me realize how much my own mother loves me. And in that moment (and so many times since) I felt so guilty. Guilty for not understanding at times (while a teenager and in my early 20's especially) that everything she did was to keep me safe and protect me.

Dear Mommy,
I am so sorry. Sorry that I was a rude dumb teenager. Sorry that I thought you were just trying to make my life miserable with a curfew. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I loved you everyday. I'm sorry that I picked fights with you and kept things from you. I'm sorry I crashed your car. I'm sorry I quit piano lessons. I'm sorry I ditched swim practice on more occasions that I want to remember. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you and all that you did for me, my friends, and our family. I could go on and on...

Thank you for always loving me. Even when you didn't 'approve' of things I was doing. Thank you for being 'The coolest teacher at school'. Thank you for always taking an interest in my friends and I. Thank you for not allowing me to go certain 'friends' houses. And always making sure you knew where I was and who I was with. Thank you for ALWAYS waiting up for me to get home. I know now that you were just making sure I was okay. Thank you for making sure I didn't dress like a slut. Thank you for teaching me how to cook and clean. Thank you for waking me up early on Saturdays (even if it was coming into my room, 'just to vacuum' for me). Thank you for never throwing past mistakes back in my face. And for teaching me that tomorrow is a new day and to move on. Thank you for teaching me the importance of education and to love books and learning. Thank you for making sure I had all of my homework done ALWAYS. Thank you for coming over to Michelle's house in the middle of the night in your pajama's to make sure weren't drinking and skinny dipping with boys. (I was 16 and had never had a sip of alcohol. And we were all fully clothed. Thanks girl from church who was babysitting at the neighbors and called my mom with a bunch of lies.) Thank you for teaching me that revenge isn't the answer. That anger only hurts me and not those I am mad at. Thank you for having parental blocks on the TV and only allowing TV to be watched for certain times and only after homework and chores. Thank you for making me do chores. Thank you for teaching me how to put on makeup and do my hair. Thank you for letting me paint my room crazy colors over and over and over. Thank you for always having a genuine interest in my life and my hobbies. Thank you driving me around all the time. Thank you for cheering me on at every swim meet, piano recital, soccer game oh and that one pageant. Thank you for teaching me that for some people it's better to just 'laugh it off'. And for teaching me to 'be the better person' when sometimes I really don't want to.

When I grow up I want to be like YOU! One day I hope to create a home as warm as you did. To treat others the way you do. To love the way you do. To cook, sew, clean, and shop as good as you. And to be the type of mother you are/were to me, to my own kids.

Thank you for teaching me not by your words but by your example. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for  being such a wonderful grandmother to Jaxon and Chloe. Thank you for being an example to them and loving them so much. Thank you for your continued support and understanding. Thank you for loving my husband and genuinely supporting him and taking an interest in every aspect of our family. I truly feel blessed to have you not just as my mother but as my best friend.


Happy Mothers Day to all you mothers out there. It truly is the best/hardest/most rewarding job there is.

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